Sunday, November 20, 2005

The Ten Principles of True Love

This is an excerpt from my website "Joy is Now" which I've placed here to welcome comments, questions, and refinements. Please enjoy it, and share it with your friends and loved ones. Help me spread true spiritual non-neurotic love around the world.


1. When I say I love you, I mean that I feel a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a you. I am filled with a feeling of intense desire and attraction towards you. I feel a sense of underlying oneness with you that fills my heart with joy.

2. I give my love to you freely, as an expression of my own passion, and I do so without any expectation of your feelings toward me.

3. When I say “I love you” it doesn’t mean that I feel ownership over you, or that I have expectations for your behavior, or rigid ideas of our future together.

4. I love you for what you are now, not for what I hope you will someday become. I have no plans to change you. I do, however, support your own desire to grow.

5. I respect your right to you having your own feelings, and to your need to learn your own lessons in life. If I can help, I will wait to be asked, and otherwise will allow you to go through the experiences that you need and choose.

6. I will do my best to be in touch with my own feelings and desires, and communicate them to you without any expectation that you will act on them.

7. I am happy with or without you. My bliss is my responsibility alone.

8. I leave you free to be yourself: to think your thoughts, indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in ways that you decide are to your liking. I have no right to judge or change your behavior.

9. I desire that you be happy. If your time spent with me is not joyful, then you are welcome to go on your way with my love and support still with you.

10. I recognize that we are two separate whole people, who have chosen to walk side-by-side through life for a time. I rejoice in the ecstasy of the present-moments we share together.


This is copyrighted material. Copyright Sam Palahnuk / Brother Wolf. Please do not copy or distribute this material without written permission from the author.
Thanks!

Praise for The Ten Principles of True Love

"That is beautifully written and so true! Exactly how I feel and look at love... Wish more people understood the definition."

- Denise

"Sam, very well put. I have been married over 18 years and my husband and I are still in love and love being together. You sum up a lot of those feelings in what you wrote. "

Love
Darkdove

" yeah, that's beautiful. thanks"

- Dawn

"Your 10 steps are exeptionaly true, esspecialy the indepence of existing as two seperate concious beings..."

- Ty

"I posted your link in my blogs!"

- Mellisa

"Sam, your 10 steps were exactly what I learned how to do in one of my last "relatednesses". What you wrote was beautiful. "

- Mamma

"Sam, I really connected to the points you make about unconditional love. I especially enjoyed the definitions that deal with being responsible for your own bliss and loving regardless of the circumstance or proxmity to that person. Thank you for your thoughts. "

Blessings
Queen Mab

"That's beautiful Sam! Brought a tear. May I email it?"

- Blue

"I really like your site Sam. It's a great place to go when you don't feel so great! I'll be checking in on it every-so-often as it developes. Thanks! "

~K

"Thank you for your website! I love it. What a lovely gift you have created. I will pass your wonderful website on to my friends and family. "

Love and Light,
Paula

"This is quite amazing and very cool! "

- Nick Palance

"I think you're onto something and it's great that you're trying to make a difference in people's lives by bringing things to their attention like that. "

- Simon

56 Comments:

Blogger amelia said...

right on! way to spread the love! Intense spiritual love is so good. SO necessary for life. Thanks for putting this in the open!

6:06 AM  
Blogger ~C4Chaos said...

beautiful! thanks for sharing. it made my day ;)

~C

6:34 AM  
Blogger wella rose said...

hello... thanks for sharing your thoughts w/ us... your article about the principles of love is really great... it inspires me a lot... that's why i would also like my friends to read it and i'm here to ask for your permission to post at least the link to your blog's website... thanks... :)

5:55 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Yes, always feel free to post and share this. Just always attribute the work to me and provide a link.

Thanks!

- Sam

2:00 PM  
Blogger CarmineDPaynter said...

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5:33 PM  
Blogger 誤會 said...

感動 + 感恩 + 感謝(。-ˍ-。 )........................................

1:02 AM  
Blogger 打扮 said...

好問才能博學。........................................

6:39 AM  
Blogger lynx said...

That's great. I'd love it.
Thanx for sharing ^^

11:20 PM  
Blogger baby said...

你的部落帶給我愉快的心情,感謝~~ ....................................................

8:04 AM  
Blogger 韋宣威宇 said...

It's great!!..................................................

8:10 PM  
Blogger 郭君 said...

當身處逆境時,要能忍一時之氣,吃一時之苦,並及早確立自己的目標,總有一天,你會嘗到那甘美的果實。 ..................................................

11:35 PM  
Blogger VincenzoJ_Markle0727 said...

笑口常開~~天天開心........................................

10:06 AM  
Blogger YoungW21087 said...

thank for share, it is very important . ̄︿ ̄..................................................

11:11 AM  
Blogger 協盛 said...

到處逛逛~~來繞繞留個言囉~~~~........................................

11:44 PM  
Blogger 蘇pet0701em_halvorsen said...

haha~ funny! thank you for your share~ ........................................

9:20 PM  
Blogger 曉豪 said...

處順境須謹慎,處逆境要忍耐。

3:42 AM  
Blogger Darshan Chande said...

That's amazingly true! But a very few people manage to truly understand love with such clarity and depth.

I, too, have made an attempt to express what love is here.

7:08 AM  
Blogger 登山 said...

成功多屬於那些很快做出決定,卻又不輕易變更的人。而失敗也經常屬於那些很難做出決定,卻又經常變更的人.............................................

8:24 AM  
Blogger 政儒 said...

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8:29 PM  
Blogger DJ said...

Perfect ........ Love it

8:05 AM  
Blogger 佩怡 said...

A friend to everybody is a friend to nobody...................................................

3:53 AM  
Blogger estherme said...

君子如水,隨方就圓,無處不自在。 ..................................................

8:03 PM  
Blogger MinB2139 said...

所有的資產,在不被諒解時,都成了負債..................................................

2:11 AM  
Blogger 義珊 said...

不要把生命看得太嚴肅,反正我們不會活著離開。..................................................................

8:11 PM  
Blogger 曉薇 said...

very nice blog~~......................................................................

1:50 AM  
Blogger 育財 said...

在莫非定律中有項笨蛋定律:「一個組織中的笨蛋,恆大於等於三分之二。」......................................................................

5:39 AM  
Blogger 郁雨郁雨 said...

人不能像動物一樣活著,而應該追求知識和美德.................................................................

2:03 AM  
Blogger AlphonseH_Va哲維 said...

一個人的價值,應該看他貢獻了什麼,而不是他取得了什麼............................................................

6:35 AM  
Blogger 芸茂芸茂 said...

安一估~你也安一估哦~............................................................

10:33 PM  
Blogger 蕙春蕙春 said...

Say not all that you know, believe not all that you hear.............................................................

1:18 AM  
Blogger 香昱信張君林 said...

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. ..................................................................

2:48 AM  
Blogger 筱涵 said...

人自幼就應該通過完美的教育,去建立一種好的習慣。.......................................................

5:17 PM  
Blogger 盈廖生家秀蔡 said...

嗨~~留個言跟您問好!!謝謝您的分享............................................................

2:27 AM  
Blogger 方偉白方偉白 said...

人應該做自己認為對的事,而不是一味跟著群眾的建議走。..................................................

6:19 PM  
Blogger 雅俊芬凱陳許 said...

來問個安,誰不支持這個部落格,我咬他.................................................................

5:54 AM  
Blogger 翁佩卿 said...

這個部落格好好好~棒棒棒~~~............................................................

12:51 AM  
Blogger 鄭美玉 said...

工作,是愛的具體化~~~~努力吧!........................................

1:12 AM  
Blogger 敬周喜 said...

Learning makes a good man better and ill man worse.............................................................

1:55 AM  
Blogger 承王蓁 said...

Learning makes life sweet.......................................................................

3:27 AM  
Blogger 冠賴伶冠賴伶冠賴伶 said...

良言一句三冬暖,惡語傷人六月寒。......................................................................

9:53 PM  
Blogger 宗王王王王王穎 said...

死亡是悲哀的,但活得不快樂更悲哀。............................................................

12:19 AM  
Blogger 怡禹玄禹玄君 said...

Make yourself necessary to someone..................................................................

6:12 AM  
Blogger 怡屏 said...

這一生中有多少人擦肩而過?而朋友是多麼可貴啊!......................................................................

8:17 AM  
Blogger 麗王王珠 said...

快樂,是享受工作過程的結果......................................................................

7:31 PM  
Blogger 千TatianaCallan惠 said...

好熱鬧喔 大家踴躍的留言 讓部落格更有活力..................................................

6:10 AM  
Blogger 張王雅竹欣虹 said...

辛苦了!祝你愈來愈好!............................................................

8:45 AM  
Blogger mon said...

hi sam,
i just went through a break up . so i'm trying to refigure evrything i've ever known about love and life and i came across your blog. the list is awesome and by the end of it, i was in tears. pls do recommend some additional materials which will get me through this phase and make me a better person.. thanks and god bless

11:50 PM  
Blogger step3a said...

yea !!! this must be. as many people need to learn how to make a good relationship

12:19 AM  
Blogger CLARA VELASQUEZ said...

Lovely.

6:58 AM  
Blogger CLARA VELASQUEZ said...

Lovely.

7:04 AM  
Blogger Cookie Smith said...

Everyone needs true love. But sometimes we get into false relationships. It breaks our heart but we should not lose hope. Love has always been here. I'm sharing this book to you wonderful people so that you can also feel the changes it made my life for the better.

It's entitled, "The Secrets that No One Told You About Love - How To Find Good Love And A Lasting Relationship In The RIGHT, Good And Fast Way. (Hidden Sscrets Of Love, Book 1, About Love)"

Here's a link if you guys are interested. :)

http://www.amazon.com/HIDDEN-SECRETS-LASTING-RELATIONSHIP-ebook/dp/B00CLJYB9O/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1367742807&sr=1-2&keywords=new+relationships

8:30 PM  
Blogger powerastro guru said...

it’s actually a nice and helpful piece of information. I am satisfied that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.| get my true love back
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3:50 AM  
Blogger John mills said...

I m ANGELINA from RUSSIA,My ex lover now [husband] is back and we are happily married with kids and i m here to gave thanks and appreciation to Dr MAXI the spell caster of maxispelltemple@yahoo.com for all the time He stood by me,for all the truth He make me see,for all the happiness He brought into my life,for all the wrongs He make right,for every of my dreams He make come through and for the help i found in Him,i am grateful and thankful unto Him,He was the one that helped me all,He never let me fall,He was the one that saw me through it all,He was .my source of strength when i was weak,He was my voice when i couldn`t speak,He was my eyes when i couldn`t see,He saw the pain wasn`t good for me,He lifted me were i couldn`t reach,i m everything i m today because You helped me,i m so happy my husband is back in my life at last,His email is maxispelltemple@yahoo.com,A temple were sorrows are dropped and happiness is gain in return.

7:27 PM  
Blogger vabna islam said...


Nice article. I think it is useful and unique article. I love this kind of article and this kind of blog. I have enjoyed it very much. Thanks for your website.
true love

3:03 AM  
Blogger Morag Northey said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:39 AM  
Blogger Morag Northey said...

Dear Sam: Thank You ❤️
If I were to remarry, I would suggest your 10 points as vows... which begs the question: when one is secure and understands Love exists as Love exists, and allowing for the inevitable ebbs and flows, why marry?

Open doors, open walls, with this kind of Love at the core seems the greatest gift we can give one another.

Marriage becomes a purely symbolic act to declare "I choose to walk the path with you" and not one of legal, power, fear and control desires.

Beautiful.

Lovingly,

Morag

7:41 AM  

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